What's Worse Then Finding a Worm In Your Apple?

[zarmcher]

Lol randy that is ridiculous XD5edduZN.jpg

[hawkerra]

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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[hawkerra]

Try this on your friends... tell them that you have a great knock knock joke, but they have to start it...

Them: Knock Knock.

You: Who's there?

....enjoy the awkward silence....

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[Khaaaaaotik]

What's the main use for pigskin?
-To hold a pig together you idiot

What's the joke seeing that it isn't the 50's and pigskin is irrelevant?
-A football

What's football?
-Not soccer


(If I feel like joining the carpool to Hell I'll reply with my all-time favourite later)

[Randuken]

Hey guys look I found Tina Turner. ...

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[Batman_OnA_Stick]

Hey guys look I found Tina Turner. ...

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Tine Turner the swamp monster version

[Randuken]

she got the sauce brah

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[Randuken]

Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man answers the phone, puts it on speaker, and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: "Hello"

WOMAN: "Honey, it's me. Are you at the club?"

MAN: "Yes."

WOMAN: "I'm at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It's only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?"

MAN: "Sure, go ahead if you like it that much."

WOMAN: "I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2016 models. I saw one I really liked."

MAN: "How much?"

WOMAN: "$65,000."

MAN: "OK, but for that price I want it with all the options."

WOMAN: "Great! Oh, and one more thing. The house we wanted last year is back on the market. They're asking $950,000."

MAN: "Well, then go ahead and give them an offer, but just offer $900,000."

WOMAN: "OK. I'll see you later! I love you!"

MAN: "Bye, I love you, too." The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are looking at him in astonishment.

Then he smiles and asks: "Anyone know whose phone this is?"

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[Randuken]

A female gorilla is alone in a cage at a zoo she has become very cranky due to her isolation and has become increasingly aggressive. Her problematic behavior has become a concern of the zookeeper who decides to try to fix it. While trying to come up with a solution he notices the janitor, a very sleazy redneck type and gets an idea. He walks over to him and asks:

"Would you be willing to.. perhaps have sex with a gorilla for 500 dollars?"

The janitor thinks about it for a while and agrees but on 3 conditions.

"First!" He says, "I don't want to have to kiss her. Understood?"

"Yes." Says the zookeeper.

"Second!" The janitor says, "I don't want anyone to know about this!"

"Alright" says the zookeeper, "And what's the third condition?"

"I'm going to need a little bit more time to come up with the 500 dollars."



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[zarmcher]

That is a damn sorry randy!! TMIDR,