So while I'm working for my command staff in lieu of a MEB, a captain comes into the office and asks my SMSgt if he has any bodies from the logistics & avionics side to go to London for 3 days. My SMSgt says no and looks over at his MSgt assistant who also shakes his head. The Captain is disappointed, and lets them know that the mission is this coming weekend (2 days away) and he's asked every group. My bosses shrug and apologize to him, and he leaves. I wait until he's down the hall out of earshot and approach my bosses. "I'm just sitting here drawing in MS paint and doing spreadsheets for you guys."
SMSgt: "You've written some pretty bang up award packages for us too, so don't feel TOTALLY useless."
MSgt: "Yeah, don't beat yourself up. Unfortunately, with your injury, we can't have you on the flightline."
Me: "No, no. What I'm getting at is I'm a body. I'm not doing much else."
SMSgt facepalms and so does MSgt.
SMSgt: "You cool with this?"
MSgt: "Yeah, let him go."
SMSgt: "Shiv, head down the hall and catch that Captain before he calls another unit and tell him you're reporting to him for the TDY he has for this weekend."
Me: (Smiling so big I probably look like a damn clown) "Awesome, thank you!"
I talk to the Captain and he tells me that I need to pack a bag with two changes of clothes, preferably a book bag, and no uniforms... all civilian clothes. I'm to tell no one where I'm going, but if they ask, I'll be back 'in a few days'. I couldn't even tell my wife where I was going. The Captain introduced me to a MSgt from another unit and said I'd be his 'traveling companion'. The MSgt agreed to pick me up at my house the morning of our flight out.
I get home and tell my wife I'm going on TDY for the weekend, and that I don't even know where I'm going, but I'll see her after the weekend. She freaks the hell out. I've never been TDY like THIS before. I assure her that everything's fine, and she helps me pack a bag.
The morning of the trip, I didn't wake her up. I locked up, got in the truck with the MSgt, and off we went to Omaha to get on a plane. Queue montage music... here's where shit got crazy.
We get to the air port and he hands me a folder. Inside are our orders, plane tickets, and there's a letter for each of us signed by our Squadron Commander, the Base Commander, and Obama himself. "We're gonna make a pit stop in Maryland to pick something up." I told him I thought we were headed to London. "We are." and he smirked at me. He'd been on one of these before, I'm guessing. We get to security at the Omaha airport, and are asked to remove belts, shoes, etc, and put our bags on the conveyer. I begin taking off my shoes, and the MSgt says "Watch this.". He hands our letters to the TSA guy and we're waved through... shoes on, belts on, backpacks on our backs. Basically the letters stated that we were not to be inconvenienced by security, we were on official orders, and that our bags were not allowed to be checked or touched by anyone but ourselves... signed by the president. Fucking cool. I feel like I'm in a spy movie or some shit.
They're calling out our flight as we get to the terminal. Awesome! I love perfect timing. We jump on the plane and we're off the ground within 30 minutes. We land in Maryland and head out to the front lobby. "They're already here." We head out front. There's a black paneled van with dark tint sitting there. Two civilians get out and show us their DoD ID cards. We show them ours. The next few moments threw me into a paranoid fit...
The gentlemen jump back in the van, grab two brown paper wrapped packages tied with twine. The packages can't be more than about 8 inches long, 6 inches wide, and about 4 inches deep. I watch the MSgt for cues about what to do next. He shoves his into his bag. "OH MY GOD" I'm thinking... I spin around. People are already pointing and staring. I shove my package into my back pack. We shake hands with the gentlemen in the van and turn to head back into the air port. "Don't make eye contact with any of those people. They're already nervous enough. Get ready for some resistance." He winked at me and led me back to security. As we begin to approach, I'm reeling. If by now any of you AREN'T getting the gist of how I feel... people outside just saw me put a suspicious looking package in our backpacks... bags that we received from guys in a paneled van w/ very dark tint... and airports are still a soft point for people.... I'm pretty sure at least a few people think we have explosive devices on us.
As we approached security, 3 armed police officers met us, putting hands on our shoulders. "We need you gentlemen to come with us." My MSgt, without missing a beat, says "We're about to be late for our flight, but you can take a look at this if you'd like". He hands one of the officers the letter. After a minute, the confusion in his eyes was hilarious. He told the two other officers to standby with us for a minute while he made a phone call. He called our Commander. She vouched for us. They apologized and we, once again, slid through security without as much as taking our shoes off... metal detectors going apeshit as each of us walked through. Now we were really getting some attention. We headed to the terminal and again boarded a plane. We were in the air maybe 45 minutes and we touched down in New Jersey. There, we boarded a huge airliner and were off to London, avoiding the security stuff altogether in NJ.
We got off the plane in London and headed to the lobby to wait on our "escort" from Lakenheath. They were 2 hours late. We handed them our packages, and they headed back to the base. We jumped on a double decker and went to our hotel, checked in, changed clothes, and started sight seeing. Our turnaround was the next day, so we had to be quick on our feet. We almost RAN through London seeing all the sights. The Eye, Big Ben, Picadilly Circus, etc... taking the tube when the distance between landmarks was going to be too much to walk. We stopped for lunch and I just HAD to order some authentic fish 'n chips. HEAVEN. We each had a couple beers, then were back on our feet. We saw the palace, some awesome architecture... London is fucking beautiful. As darkness fell, we hit up a pub, ordered some light food, and the drinking began. 3 drinks here. 3 down the street. 3 across the corner from that. I'm all of 5'3" and wasn't doing a lot of drinking in those days... I was DEFINITELY feeling it. We hit up one more pub and I had one more drink, then we headed back to the hotel. Morning came WAY too soon, and the MSgt and I met up outside at the shuttle stop and leaned against eachother... both wishing the other had some ibuprofen or excedrin.
We got back to Heathrow and actually had to go through security, as our letters were to expire overnight... gave us just enough time to get the packages into England. Easy. "Let's find the pilot's lounge." The MSgt grabbed me by my book bag strap and led me through hallways. Finally we found one. FOOOD! Food everywhere. And a place to charge our dying phones. We were in there about 30 minutes and both about to nod off when someone came and told us we were in an unauthorized area. MSgt showed her our expired letter and our orders. She brought us fresh coffee and donuts. When our flight was called, she showed up again to ensure we'd heard the announcement. WOW. Fucking awesome. We got to the desk and MSgt thought he had one more trick up his sleeve... he showed letters and orders to the desk clerk. "Sorry, sir. We would, but you're not in uniform." Damn! There went our ticket to first class... oh well.
I made sure to keep some change to give the wife. She collects weird stuff. Customs was hilarious. I was almost stripped completely down to nothing, my back pack tossed, etc. They were rude as all shit. Oh well. Nothing to hide. Fun experience. Figured I'd share with you guys.
PS: I know what the packages were... but you'll never get that piece of the story, sorry.
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Originally Posted by CAG JB
