Official Depression And Anxiety Discussion Thread

[Ajax1723]

Hey everyone, as most on the 360 side of COD know, I deal with Depression and Anxiety basically on an everyday basis due to a variety of reasons. I know that there are others (probably a larger number than most think) that also deal with these issues, and I have made it one of my goals on not only this forum but other forums that I am a member on to try and start a thread of this kind to allow others to share their experiences/offer advice that may have helped them, or feel that they have a safe place to come to if they are dealing with their own issues and are looking for some help.

My inbox is always open, as well as my phone and I play on the 360 pretty regularly (also the Xbox One from time to time). I also have Kik if anyone uses that as well.

Hopefully we see some responses in this thread. I know it is hard for some (including myself) to open up sometimes, but at least this is here if anyone does feel the need to post, or legitimately is in trouble and needs some support.

Hope to hear from some of you guys, I know I could use the support myself right now.

-A.J. (Ajax1723)

[Tricky3]

Way to step up here Ajax and give people the opportunity to open up and be heard. Its awesome that your opening up here in a effort to help others.

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[BiA Swindels]

I have a paying job that lets me keep a roof over my head, and heck lets me waste time on the internet playing video games. I have folks back home that love and care for me. But somehow that doesn't stop me from thinking that somehow I have hit a dead end, and I can't seem to grasp the courage to turn around and start over. It doesn't help that there is a shit ton of debt looming over my head, so quitting and changing career paths is inconceivable at the moment. So occasionally I think about the option of just letting go. And then I feel ashamed for thinking those thoughts, that I'm a failure of a human being. Then I put my head down and trudge on. I haven't really talked to anyone about it, so maybe I'm just being pussy, and it's a bit embrassing putting this shit into words. But I figured I'd put shit out there to get this conversation going, or to make it easier for someone else to open up.
Now don't put words in my mouth. I don't think people with depression or similar disorders are weak or somehow less then a "normal" person. This is just shit that is going through my own head at this point in my life.

[Lesbehonest]

Considering I was born early and have family who have both Depression and Anxiety it was a matter of time until it blew up again. I've been diagnosed with Biological Depression since 2012 and Generalized Anxiety Disorder this year. I was at a point where my anxiety exploded with a combination of Marijuana that put me in the hospital for a week because of my anxiety attacks. I've been put on medication to increase the serotonin levels to live normally. Unfortunately the reason why my depression has been small is because in 2014 one of my friends committed suicide and I decided to go to the funeral. When I go away to college I am less depressed until I come back home and live with my parents. This past week has been hard only because my parents are separating and fighting which is killing me. I use video games and sports as my way out. I was actually told to play rugby to release my emotions and it actually worked and made me very relaxed.
Swindels
You should not feel ashamed that you feel this way. Also just because you have a house, and Internet, and family doesn't mean you can get depressed or said. I mean I have everything and am an only child and I dealt with it since I was 10 years old.(19 now). Just because you haven't talked to anyone doesn't make you weak. The first step is saying that you have to go.
If anyone wishes to talk I am always here.. I know I'm young but I've have had unfortunately a lot of experience over the years.


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[Ajax1723]

Thanks for the replies already. Today has been a bad day in general, found it hard to get in contact with any of my friends so basically sat around all day, which is not good for me. Hoping that improves soon because I have some very important life decisions to make soon and I don't really want to have to be in full time therapy while making them. Not to mention I still have a hard time texting/calling asking for help because I always think they don't want to hear from me.

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[STAY FROSTY]

Glad to see you doing this Aj hope it helps to talk to more people.


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[CAG CheechDogg]

Since I activated this website and forums back in 2009 the amount of people I have met with depression and anxiety disorders is just alarming. Fortunately for some these forums, this clan and Myself have been able to help a lot of them and one good example is CAG Lesbehonest.

Having anxiety and depression is nothing to be ashamed of and most importantly nothing to be scared of either. Talking with the right people and having people that you can trust to able to talk to them about your troubles is very important. I have noticed and realized that talking to complete strangers is easier than talking to friends and family. Why? When you learn that someone else has the same troubles as you, that makes you want to talk to that person even more because you want to see if the troubles you have are very similar or if you can learn something from that person to help you out.

I am not going to lie, I don't believe in depression but at times I too feel down and out and feel like just saying fuck it all and fuck everyone. I might have anxiety myself, but luckily I have a girlfriend who is a Therapist and having Her in my life the last 2 years has been a blessing.

Like I have told many before you I will say it to you as well Ajax, don't let anything or anyone make you feel like you are worthless or like shit. I don't know if that is what you are having problems with but I have noticed that most of the times when someone is depressed and anxious it's because someone really did a number on that person mentally and when that happens it is very hard to think otherwise.

I have been told by many that I am scum, worthless, a piece of shit, lied to and cheated on and regardless of what has happened to me I am still standing!!!!

My Man Ajax, you can do anything you want. I have Faith in everything I do even if it doesn't happen I still have Faith that it "Will" happen when the time is right, I am not the most religious person in the world but I do believe that everything happens for a reason and if "God" didn't think we should go through something or didn't believe and have Faith in "Us" that we can take what ever he puts us through, he wouldn't make us go through it.

Take everything as a stepping stone, learn from it, use it as a learning experience and just say fuck it to that, you will overcome this shit my Man I promise you that, but only if you believe and have Faith in yourself!

If you feel like you need to talk to someone let me know and I will give you my personal # and you can give me a call whenever you want. Got it?

So keep your chin up, walk tall and proud, fuck everyone else and just roll with the punches my Man !!!!

[Tricky3]

Amen Brother

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[Lesbehonest]

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[Ajax1723]

Thanks for the replies all.

Cheech, I will keep your advice in mind. Depression is indeed a real ailment, and affects millions of people, and would wish it upon no one.

With that being said, today has been a huge struggle. Most of my issues lately have been made exponentially worse by 2 past relationships that ended up not only blowing up in my face, but following me for many months afterwards, creeping up every now and then and destroying any progress I may have made. For those that don't know, I joined this clan in March, but went MIA for 3 months as I entered a partial hospital program for anxiety and depression after a failed suicide attempt and borderline emotional abuse from past relationships, plus the stress and repressed feelings from childhood bullying. Making/keeping friends is hard for me, and some issues that happened very recently have also taken a huge toll on me.

For those that are dealing with issues themselves, and also for those that don't know what to do for those that are struggling, take it from someone who unfortunately has lived it. Sometimes all people need that are feeling like crap is someone to lean on, even if it's only for a short period of time. Feelings of worthlessness and loneliness (specifically in person, not necessarily talking to people online/not in person) run rampant for those that are depressed, and those two have been running my life for a good 4 months now, and it really, really sucks, I'm not gonna lie. Unfortunately most of my friends have left as well, not wanting to deal with it. And literally for about a month and a half my only support system was my emotionally abusive ex-girlfriend, who I am finally able to start moving on from now.

I realize this REALLY opens me up, but it is a very serious issue for me, and I'm still right in the middle of it, as I have not felt myself getting better, as it seems every time I see the light at the end of the tunnel, I get destroyed again. All I'm saying is, be there for those that you care about if they are dealing with these kind of mental issues. I can speak from experience that it is borderline impossible to deal with this alone, and it is very scary.