Had a rough day today mainly because of my ocd. It's not the everything in a particular order or washing my hands till they bleed. Mine mainly has to do with death. I'm constantly checking to make sure the doors are locked and the stove is turned off. I also always have to hit my heel against the back of the first step before I can go down the stairs. And for some reason I can't get my own death out of my head. I'm not even sure when I'm suicidal anymore because it seems like I'm constantly picturing my own death. I can't help it. I wish it would stop. I pack my can of dip, or chewing tobacco, until it feels just right, and I'll walk thru a door way until it feel just right. I'm just having a big issue with my family constantly making fun of me for it. I know what I do is irrational but I can't help myself from doing it. I just wish I could make everyone understand what it's like to spend a day in my head.
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