Once upon a time there was a shoemaker.
This shoemaker was called Chesney Wolfenstein
Chesney used to be a Marine and had a very successful career as part of a black ops wet team - every hear of the assassination of corrupt nato officials? NO? damn right! they were THAT good. He became a shoemaker to support his family upon leaving the service an having a clear understanding after all the walking exactly what makes a shoe comfy.
this sucked the will to carry on out of Chesney and one night, instead of making a pair of shoes as usual he left everything laid out and decided to leave it.
Then something wondrous happened.... he came downstairs in the morning to find that the shoes had been made. and they were fantastic. That afternoon a man came in and was happy to pay more than tripple the usual price for a pair of shoes because they were so amazing - This dawned on Chesney that maybe he should leave his materials laid out every night and make a lot of money.
A few years later curiosity got the better of Chesney, he decided that it was about time he saw exactly who or what was making these shoes in thre middle of the night. He left a nightlight on and hid behind a curtain at the far end of the shop. After a while some tiny fat bald men came in, sat down and made a start on the shoes, Within 5 minuutes they were done and left the shop.
The very next night Chesney thought it would be nice to leave some clothes out for these miniature perverts. he also didnt like the fact their ballsacks were touching his seat...
The next night Chesney watched from behind the curtain again, he saw the joy on their faces as the put the clothes on but he also noticed a change in their actions... he could see that this time, the perverts were not intending to return
Cheesney Just Fucked Up ... if they left, who would set up his internet store? Chesney knew exactly shit about computers
The now clothed perverts left the shop and started to skip along the meadow into the distance laughing and singing merrily. Chesney needed to act fast
Chesney tore off a piece of his T-shirt, tied it around his head and went after these little fuckers to bring them back for good.... Staying in the shadows he stalked his prey getting ever closer with every moment that passed - While stalking his prey he fashioned a noose from some hanging vines and creeped in front, bit by bit until eventually he reached a bottelneck - only one way in and one way out - these perverts wouldn't know what the fuck hit them
He got in to position up high and waited. as the Perv's came closer Chesney readied himself. All the years of training making a return, adrenaline taking over. He felt alive again. HE POUNCED. Drop kick to the one in front, instantly killing him (Whoops maybe he should hold back a bit. this was kind of like fighting toddlers)
With his noose he Caught the perv at the rear, yanking him back and to the ground. The Perv in the middle was frantic and confused... he had nowhere to turn. Poor guy just stood, frozen to the spot in a puddle of urine
Chesney, confident in the fact the perv left standing was not a threat he promptly hog-tied the noosed prey and then turned his attention to the piss stained perv.
All of a sudden, a new lease of life came over the perv and he started swinging. This caught Chesney off guard and was knocked to the ground.... After scrambling back to his feet he realised the perv was on the run.... He laid chase. His longer legs ensuring the distance between them was closed quickly. A quick struggle and mission success. 2 caught. 1 dead ... not bad results
Upon getting these little miracle workers back to the basement of his shop he put in front of them a laptop and went to bed
The very next morning he came downstairs to find his internet shop for shoe.....wait... what the fuckk was this shit?
CAG?
Combat Applications Group to be precise. These little fuckers had just given birth to the number 1 gaming community in the world. It dawned on cheney that this power needed to be used only for the good of making. Laying waste to a gamers enemies on the battlefield
Still to this day, every night Chesney Wolfenstein (now known by the handle CheechDogg, thanks to the little perverts) goes to bed the little fuckers update the site
And that kids, is how cheech met your ....... Is how Cheech started CAG
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